Who cares?

Happy Holiday, Sister,

You put a nice spin on it - my kids don't feel obligated to spend holidays with me.  And today I am at peace.  Both of my daughters will be here.  But I still wonder about my initial lack of detachment and what it means and how to handle it...what is authentic??

I woke up to a delicate layer of snow lining the tree outside my bedroom window.  The ground is not even soft enough for the daffodils leaves to begin pushing through...no promise of spring here yet.

I also woke up to a long email from an old friend talking about Easter and resurrection and what we believe...I remember being part of a group discussing Jesus and the Bible. There's a Pendle Hill pamphlet written by someone I used to know. He identified quotes from Jesus that appear in each of the gospels, then put them together as words most likely and truly coming from the Christ.  We talked about it a lot.  Was he born of a virgin?  Was there an immaculate conception?  Was there a resurrection? In the end, I said - Who cares.  Look at the words...do you want to follow this or not?

This whole - he died for your sins...if you had been a decent person this holy man would not have had to endure such suffering...message is unnecessary.  What a pile of guilt to lay on people...when in truth, if we lived in a nonviolent, egalitarian society, humans would behave humanely. I think this kind of story, the spin put on it, the aspects that are emphasized - of torture and loss -- it is all part of patriarchy.

I wonder how matriarchy or - what is the third option, when neither male not female dominates?  I wonder how someone who is truly human would interpret the story?

About birthday cards...every year in January I think I am going to send cards to everyone. But I never have the money to do it.  I can't always get things out to my own little sector of the family.  It makes me sad and guilty - but it is the truth of my life.  My family has become a lot like our family of origin- not a lot of parties or celebrations...everything stays quiet, simple...and inexpensive.

We came from that.  I remember over and over when we were kids..."We can not afford..."  The message has become part of me.

Have a happy day,

Love and hugs from Clare