mother/mater/matter

Hey Maggie,

Persistence is a gift. It will help him achieve...but it will drive you crazy first...

When I was reading your last post, I remembered parenting.  It is the hardest job ever. It is the highest and the lowest all wrapped into one with no middle ground.  It is mundane chores repeated ad infinitum until you feel like boredom and aggravation will leak out of your ears if you have to pick up after them one more time, or get them out of bed, or negotiate about supper.  But it is also influencing another with every word, every nuance, every perception.  To be a parent means you have to think all the time...

Ugh

But then it is the unexpected moments of adoration and love and breathtaking vulnerability.

Never boring.

I realized mine are still fascinating even though they are adults who rarely need me any more.

And with the oldest - trust him. How has he been doing with sobriety and partying?

I am really enjoying Natural Grace.  I read something the other night that said materialism comes from mater/mother.  I have been thinking about mater/matter...abundance versus refusing abundance.  I  have a Swedish friend who studies macrobiotics.  I don't know if you have ever noticed, but I have one eyebrow higher than the other.  It has been that way for most of my life.  I went to a workshop on Chinese facial diagnosis many years ago, and the leader noted it might have happened at birth, and that a good cranial-sacral therapist might be able to return the balance.

So anyway, my Swedish friend said that the imbalance between my eyebrows indicates that I associate more with the male/father side of my power, and less with the female/mother.  I have been wondering how closely love of mother/motherhood is associated with abundance.  I am wondering if I honored my feminine more,  would I be in better balance, and therefore live in more abundance. Or at least peace...

But I struggle with being feminine, because deep inside I believe that makes me rapable.  I know rape has nothing to do with attractiveness...it is all about pain and power and putting women in their place. I know that strength and connection makes us stronger, less vulnerable  But it's hard to experientially take that step...

And so I will continue to read and ruminate at night, when I should be sleeping...but that's all about adrenal exhaustion and why zebras don't get ulcers...

Thank you!!!

Love and hugs,

Clare