rambling

Hey Little Sister,

Missing you.  Hoping all is well in your home.

Today is B#1's birthday. We are Irish twins, according to my daughter-in-law.  For a short time, every year, we are the same age.  When we were young we would tell people we were twins during this time.  I was thinking about him this morning, holding him in the Light, looking at some recent pictures.

He seems a little lost. Like he doesn't quite belong.  It reminds me of when we were young and were the new kids every year.  We didn't belong.  I remembered that he wet his pants in first grade, sometimes.  We were in a small school, and first and second grades were in the same room.  We each had our own side.  Sister used to humiliate him - make him stand up, because he was bad.  I remember feeling bad for him, but being afraid to speak up or to comfort him.

Those kinds of hero moves are knocked out of us young.  We are trained to allow the bully to rage through, damaging anyone who attracts their wrath.

My granddaughter does not want her Mom to pick her up at school any more.  I was thinking about the rejection we feel we are forced to do in the name of being accepted...or maybe, in the name of not being noticed by the bully.

With B#1, who rejected me...he was embarrassed to have such a weird sister...I see him as being so wounded, just wanting to belong. But because we are so separate, I have no idea what he's like now. 

I think he does have his moments of perfection and belonging with music though...

Rambling thoughts while I wait for grandchildren to arrive...then we start cooking for tomorrow's celebration.  The baby will be 2 years old this week!

Love and hugs,

Clare