Blessings

Clare,

It has been rough since the equinox…I hope it settles after this eclipse.
I can feel an uneasiness…
I can see it in my kids…
and my clients.
No one can touch on what "it" is exactly…
but it's there.

I've been thinking about the connection through weaknesses this week. I actually discussed it with a 19 year old client yesterday…who is desperately trying to find connection with her mother.
My job is rewarding…
but very sad…
I hear story after story of how difficult life is.
I want to scream…"just pick yourself up and move on!"
But, it doesn't work that way.
It's slow, gentle, gradual change…
insights…
testing the waters…
running back because change is scary.
I have several 30-something women…unmarried…unemployed…and seriously depressed.
They have every excuse not to eat a healthy diet, exercise, drink water, and sleep on a regular schedule…and none see the value of getting work. I cannot imagine sitting doing nothing for 10 -14 hours each day- and not feeling depressed. But, they are convinced the answer lies outside of them. They are convinced that the depression is stronger than they are. The are powerless because they choose to let the depression have that power over them. I should open a camp for them. Get them up, moving, engaged…alive again.

My house is quiet. Both boys are asleep still. I love this time. I can imagine that life is easy and perfect. Then they wake up and the challenges begin. I want to run away sometimes…but feel as if I have no choice but to stay and deal with each challenge. I need to do that with a lighter heart- one filled with peace.

The girls will be home this weekend: D#1 will arrive tonight, D#2 only on Sunday- she's involved in a show. At least we will spend Easter together. My boys laughed at me last week because I haven't planned Easter. They told me I really am a Quaker because, in the past, there would have been weeks of preparation and planning. This year I went to the Rite-Aid and bought  a hand-basket of assorted candy- it's all going into one basket on the island to share. I guess I'll hide Easter baskets again when I have grandchildren. For now, it's good to be free of those expectations.

Here's to one more day of this astrological mayhem!
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie