Some day

Clare,

I know what I am doing is a good and decent path…
it is just so difficult.
My son persistently asks to be let out of the grounding…
cursing and yelling when he does not get his way.
There is a big party tomorrow evening…
I'm afraid he is going to sneak out to go to it…
one more confrontation.
I don't know how much energy I have left for this stuff.

My older son made the decision to drop an English class today. That means he won't graduate until 12/15 at least. I don't mind really, but it is another semester of making sure he's doing the work. It's another semester of me being responsible…not really responsible…but feeling that way.
He has a plan…to finish the course work by cyberschool- not our home district- and then to take classes at the local university campus. At least he's talking about furthering his education. And he had a job interview today. Maybe he will move forward…at a slower pace than anticipated.
Husband was very upset by this decision…"I'm disappointed in you." I asked him to explain that he is disappointed with the choice, not his son. I hope he heard me on that one.

I am so tied up in all of this boy drama that I cannot access my own deeper thoughts…
bear with me…
I will become intelligent, thoughtful and introspective once again…
someday.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie