another aspect

I had forgotten about the shared birthday.  We have a few...logical when there is an immense family. And we seem to have a lot of Taureans...

We had a birthday dinner for our littlest today.  It was chaotic fun.  A close friend was here.  She stayed for a few hours after everyone else left. She made a comment about how my ex looks now, and I realized I never really looked at him.  I spoke to him. We were typically friendly, but I didn't see him. I guess that's how I protect myself. I'll have to think about this aspect of self.

I liked your analysis of your son's last year.  It seems so appropriate for birthdays. The parable of the Prodigal Son shone through your writing.  I know we noticed this before, but it jumped out in your description of your youngest's year.

I know I always try to look at the past year and think about where I want to go...

A few years ago, grad school seemed to be calling.  But then I looked at student loans and realized I would screw myself financially, possibly for the rest of my life.  I was especially sure when I read about the way professors are treated by universities. It's coming up for me again, this annual analysis/dream period. And I am drawn to studying...but if way does not open, then it does not open...

My oldest son asked me to come and help with kids again this summer. I see my pattern - Come because we need you - I'll be there. Come for fun - I waver, try to decide if I can...do I have the resources, temporally or financially? And I usually don't so it. Another aspect of self to look at.

I am alone. It is so nice and quiet in my house...ahhhhhhh.

I hope you have a joyous evening...

Love and hugs,

Clare