transition?

I hope you are feeling better.  So far I have managed to avoid getting the latest flu making the rounds.

Last fall, I believe, I went for a walk through a swampy area near my home.  In my memory it was a dreary, damp, raw kind of day.  I sat in the dirt on a little hill next to the swampland and contemplated where I was.  That is the seed, or root maybe of the swamp I have been exploring - the image I have been using to get into the swamp.  Although, last night my grandson was here, and the night before I was exhausted and slammed into sleep before I even knew it.  So the swamp has been elusive.

I  am not as versed in brain anatomy and physiology as you are, so I had to read up on the amygdala and the limbic system - just a little.  In the Wiki article about the amygdala, it said that Buddhist monks who do compassion meditation have been shown to modulate their amygdala during their practice.  So, of course I went to an article about the compassion meditation, metta.  Metta is loving-kindness, and love without clinging.  Unfortunately, one starts with self, practicing loving-kindness without approval or disapproval.  That is probably the hardest place to start...

I loved the image of the veils in the quotation you shared.  I had one more thought.  We learn to see through the veils, or allow them to blind us...or we remove them and stand naked.  The idea of naked sends me to panic mode.  Naked is absolute vulnerability.  And the Catholic church taught us over and over that naked was shameful and bad.

I have been thinking about worst-case scenario.  As long as we don't have the worst possible experience, we're alright.  That seems to be the message of our culture.

What differences am I noticing?  I am very emotional and very unhappy.  I was feeling almost overwhelmed with unhappiness, and feeling like I can't take any more.  My life has to change, something has to change.  The the wiser words that emerge into my consciousness sometimes, reminded me that when I was birthing, that moment when I felt like I didn't have the strength to go on was the transition point.  It meant that it was time to push, and that noting could stop me from pushing.  I hope that is true in my life...

How are you feeling?  Sening lots of healing light...

Love to you...Clare