I will always sing with you

I wasn't exactly dreaming.  I wasn't exactly awake.  I was sort of meditating on the swamp as I was falling asleep when I had the experience I described.  And it did bring back a lot of Women Who Run With Wolves.  And I am willing to sing if you are!

But there's more.  I went back last night.  The swamp was huge.  I heard, "It's not the bones of your ancestors, it's the bones of all ancestors."  Again, the muck was shallow, and I think I was directed to lie down in it.  I did.  Or maybe I chose to, since I am trying to merge with the swamp.  I was in a cobra pose, with my shoulders lifted, and my knees bent, so the soles of my feet were facing the sky.  I could feel sky energy coming into my feet and through my core. I guess I was resting on those piles of submerged bones.

So this is where it gets weird.  I have a guide I have been aware of for many, many years.  He was there.  He was behind me, supporting my back, sort of.  I started feeling pressure, and it was like I was delivering something, like childbirth, but through the front of my heart chakra.  It felt like when I delivered the placenta after having a baby - big but soft.  It was intense, and I feel weird writing this and trying to explain.  So the big, soft mass was delivered into the swamp-muck, and a tree started to grow from it.  It was a willow - I got to choose whether it was weeping willow or black willow.  I chose black willow because the branches seem to embrace and support, which is good because I was instructed to climb into the tree to sleep.

I had a mystic experience years ago with a black willow.  I could hear/feel sobbing from this tree.  Last night, I climbed into the willow tree, and suddenly had the thought that our tears might be the gentle flow of clean water that clears the swamp.

I physically woke up and stood up to go to the bathroom, and fell back on the bed.  The experience left me feeling so weak.  It was so weird.

I had a different thought about the animals chewing the bones.  I had a thought that they were freeing the specific ancestor, and if they freed enough of them, it could change our line or free us somehow.  That was why I went back last night.  I wanted to throw more bones on the shore.  I think I will try again.  My goal is to submerge become one with the swamp.  I want to see what happens if I stop fighting it, stop cringing, stop feeling trapped by it.

The idea of drumming appeals to me.  Maybe we are back to the shamanism thing.  I checked youtube for some Saami drumming, thinking it might hit us deep since we have that in us.  But I couldn't find anything that appealed.  I did re-find something that I thought of awhile ago, and really wanted to share with you.  You were talking about each living energy having a tone.  Well.since you are sick and simply hanging out, you have time to listen to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZaokNmQ4eY

Heal quickly, take care of yourself, sending lots of healing love,

Clare