attachment

Clare,
You are right about B#2 and the lack of family involvement. I heard B#4's side of the story…
no motivation…
no interaction…
goes to work comes home and drinks beer…
I have no idea what B#2's story is.
He is probably hurting and isolated.
I should reach out to him…
but cannot invite that energy into my life.
I could offer hims sober community…
I'm not sure he would want to hear me.
B#4 made it ok for him to hide with alcohol each evening…
he has came to the realization that B#2 is going to die of some alcohol related issue…
so why fight it.

The real issue is that we cannot truly connect to each other. We are damaged psyches, left with no real attachments because of the lack of parenting that we were given. I wish ours was a different story. I am trying to make my children's story different. I cannot find a way to create attachment to our parents or most siblings. I am too old, and set in my patterns. I can work collaboratively with almost any of them, towards a common goal, but true connection is not possible.

That's a sad statement.

My husband's friend was expected to die after the last accident, about 2 years ago.
Husband did not go to visit him. I asked him time and time again if he was going to visit, before he died…
he was too busy.
Then he recovered enough to go to rehab and home, still no visit.
Last night he was reminiscing…
he first met this friend in third grade at the catholic school. That year this friend's dad died from injuries sustained from a fall while intoxicated. Husband was remembering the hearse at the church and the nuns telling them that the boy's father had died. What a memory.
We will be going to the funeral on Friday in the same church that they went to grade school in…
deja vu for husband…
only this time is will be two sons in the hearses.
Their mother is still alive…
what she must be going through.
The younger brother had been incarcerated several times for DUI…
neither had worked much in the past decade because of their alcohol addiction…
estranged from their ex-wives and children.
It's such a sad story all around.
Anyway, the true problem lies in lack of attachment and trust.

Sorry to bring you down.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie
PS- YOU ARE SO PRETTY!!