No tea party today. Many forces of the universe have conspired to snow on us! There is a different chaos in S#3's life, and she needs to move in 6 weeks - unplanned. I am worried.
My mind has been on our dialog a lot. I go back to infanticide, and I also know we are the species that adopts. We adopt because we want children and a family. We adopt because there is someone who needs us. We adopt other species. And our hearts melt and we become ooey-goo-balls when we read stories about other species adopting. Loving and parenting run deep in us, because we are alive and here and part of the Earth.
I almost have to divide us between human and quasi-human. Between humane and violated and violator. And I don't just apply those labels to Homo sapien. What is even more difficult is that so many of us have been violated, and yet we struggle with remaining humane. And with the other species, the struggle, I think, comes from those same places that violated humane-ity.
There was a meme a few years ago about the two wolves living in our hearts - the cruel one and the kind one. Which one thrives? The one we feed. When I read that, I saw the truth. But I hate the fact that the image is of wolves.
I also think that we are a species of the forest. The trees are part of us, our direct ancestors, our guides. Or maybe, we are part of them. An herbalist I admire said we'll never truly lose the plant lore as long as we have the trees. When I read the old fairy tales, so often they make me afraid of the forest. I have felt fear when "alone" in the forest. There are others out there, out to get me. I think the big, bad wolf archetype (?) keeps us out of the forest, separated from home. Make it easier to accept clear cutting, which makes me feel as sad as the murdered giraffe as all the dogs and cats we "put to sleep" everyday.
I had an "experience" once. When my ex and I were living on the farm, he decided we needed to cut down this healthy, gorgeous choke cherry tree that was growing too close to the garage, forcing one wall to slant and tip in. The garage was pretty dilapidated - I still wonder why it was more important than a tree. As he cut, I felt sadness. It rolled over me, it was palpable. I suddenly understood it was the tree. I had studied biology, I knew the tree was "alive". But this was different. This was one of those defining moments that led me to the knowledge that trees, plants, nature is sentient.
Another of my favorite writers, Derrick Jensen, is also a forest activist. He walks in the forests, alone and at night, and people ask him why he isn't afraid of bears. So he compared statistics- the number of people killed by bears each year can be counted on one hand I believe. But the number who die because of car accidents is in the tens of thousands (I think). He wondered why we don't slink through parking lots being terrified. We are skewed. We don't live in reality!
I was on a roll, but my daughter and the baby are up, and so this day has begun in earnest! I hope you and your daughter have a wonderful brunch, and celebrate her. A lot. And I will check in later.
Until then, sending love...
Clare
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