circles

The predictions tell us we can't turn back. We  can't stop this boulder from rolling down the hill.  But we can get some of us out of the way.  Or maybe we can alter the path just a little, and preserve more species, more water, more trees.

I am willing to write together.  I had a thought last night - you write from the point of connection, I write from the point of violation.  Then I started thinking about our lack of connection.

Once we have been violated, our shame isolates us.  We have lost connection. The shame, the pain - it hurts.  It hurts all the time.  The child in us understands that we were violated because we are not loveable, we are bad, we deserved it.  Think about the messages we receive as children.  You said it.  We are hurt and humiliated for our own good, to teach us a lesson, to make us decent citizen, acceptable to be around others.  The pain is always there, and so we must numb and/or release.  We release by violating others.  We numb with video games, television, pornography, alcohol, food - chocolate, sleep ---  anything that keeps us from feeling.  But if we sit ion front of a screen all day, the lack of connection streams into all aspects of our lives.  We are not connected to nature - it is outside. We are not connected to each other, although the response on social media makes us believe we are.

I think we need foods that are more numbing.  So we eat processed foodstuffs. We are cut off from our bodies, we are cut off from the way the food was produced.  We don't associate our chicken nuggets with animals, and so it is hard to see the piles of wire cages with girls packed in, never being able to see the sun.

So maybe the key is that violation destroys connection. 

The question becomes, how can we heal the violated?  That is the way to stop the need to release pain by violating others.

The answer is always love, but what if we can't even define love???

Circles, my mind is going in circles.

I need to move some more firewood inside.  And start a spaghetti squash for dinner,

Love to you and yours...and really looking forward to our sisters weekend!!

Clare