Many, many years ago when a close friend went to Aruba on her honeymoon, she came home with a multifaceted crystal that has been hanging in my many windows for decades. The rainbows it casts has entranced and delighted two generations of toddlers now. I still enjoy it during the time of the year when the sun is at the perfect angle. Maybe we are like that, and only see our preferred color. Maybe we break the Light and make it something we can handle. Maybe what we are doing with our life is trying to see the Light, all of it, the white Light, with nothing broken apart. Maybe that white Light is supposed to permeate us. Maybe we stop holding the Light within and become the Light.
I'm glad your "program" went so well at meeting. Spirit-led is always perfect.
I wanted to do crepes with nutella and banana, but the bananas were are unripe. So I chopped apple small, moistened it with a bit of orange juice and coated it with cinnamon. It was good. Both of the kids were just getting over the latest bug making the rounds, and so they were not terribly impressed with the crepes.
I may be getting it next. I have had a headache all day, I just can't seem to lose. And I want to cry. A friend came to spend the afternoon with me, as I watched the baby. I was a whiny complainer, and she kept assuring me it was okay, because I don't let go like this very often. I kept getting so teary...but, damn it has been a hard year. I am so tired and I look so old. I'm just tired.........
I am close to tears again. I am just feeling so alone, and like I have been alone all of my life. People are with me, but not exactly. It's like nobody sees me...I feel like Grandma - standing and waiting while people eat. Waiting on people, unnoticed.
Tonight, for one night only, I hope, Clare the Drama Queen. I need to go have a hot shower, a good cry and a long sleep until I get up for work at 5:00 am...back into pathetic.
I feel so sad and tired...
I love you, I apologize...
Clare
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