Time to prune

I do believe that it is necessary to empty the hurts and past things that tie us down to make room for new joyful experiences. I think of detachment and how Buddhists believe that we should not attach ourselves to anything...real or imagined. I have trouble with that principle though because I do attach myself to my children...I guess I cannot cling.

Yesterday was an interesting experience...it was a roller-coaster ride, to say the least. Baseball was fun, the boys couldn't do anything right, and it was blustery, but they stayed in the game, for the most part. Husband was coaching...one of the boys asked to be taken out of the game after a particularly poor defensive inning and he said..."So that's it? You want to quit!" and went on to give them an academy award winning motivational speech....luckily the umpire got them moving because his lectures can be quite long. I didn't know it but he had been hit by a line drive to his right ribs/flank before the game and came home quite gimpy.

After the game I took daughter #1 car shopping. Son #1 has his license so he is going to take the old Jeep that she's been driving and she will get a newer one. We chose one, but because husband was at home trying to breath we put a deposit on it and will return to pick it up and sign all of the paper work. So we came home and son #1 was SO EXCITED that he has a car to drive. He took his sister to a graduation party and agreed to pick her up because she wanted a few beers. On his way to pick her up he swiped a telephone pole and damaged the entire length of the car on the passenger side. You can imagine how his happiness turned quickly to sadness. He was unhurt except for a small cut on his elbow, which is lucky because his passenger front window imploded into the car. Now he is afraid to drive. He was so excited to drive to school this week and now the car will be in the body shop.

I did not sleep well last night.

So, we have to take the good with the bad...and things can change in an instant. I am thankful for the resilience and resources to get through the unexpected. I hope that I never get complacent and fail to be grateful for the good times, the joyful times because all too easily they can turn into sorrow.

So did you read Mom's email today?
I have been seriously considering all that you said about attending the birthday party...and just being present to whatever happens. But today's email smacked me back to reality.

Brothers #2 & 4 and Sister #3 and their families are barbecuing together...less that an hour from my house and I was not invited. I haven't been invited to anything in this part of the state in over a year and I am getting the message loud and clear. Not one comment on my graduation...not one email or text...not even a Facebook "like". I think I am checking out of this family and detaching myself from those ropes that are tying me down. I can move ahead in my life without revisiting and picking open those scabs any more. I am letting those yellow leave fall to make room for the green, cutting the roots and pruning to allow growth and health.

Thanks for holding onto me,
Maggie