Sunday, May 26, 2013

perspective

Sorrow prepares you for joy. 
It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. 
It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. 
It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. 
Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.
 -rumi





i see the logic of your words.  i understand and agree.  but for some reason i have not broken through to that emotional, experiential place of understanding and acceptance.  or maybe i haven't gone deep enough.

everytime i reach one of those places of self-acceptance and joy, i seem to glory there for a short while.  then the universe sends me a new teacher - someone who pushes me into a new place, and i am seeing another layer of fear, another aspect of self-loathing - something inside i never noted before.

i think maybe i am complaining and exploring and talking my way into a new life.  you are my sounding board, and also the reason i show up every day.  i am doing the work because i am not alone.  but i'm psychologically kicking and screaming the whole way!

i think maybe i go back to my bad moments because i don't want to forget.  i don't want to be part of the family pattern that conveniently lets the bad slip away - only maintaining the facade of loving health.  think about how many memories you needed to have returned to you, or corroborated.  what we have forgotten - never happened.  i want to model taking responsibility for bad behavior, for being truly sorry, for letting people i hurt know i would do it different if i had a chance, and that i am different now.  i have become softer, more loving, patient, more serene - more whole.

i keep going back to something you wrote about cycling.  we continue to return to the same issues, but we see it from a different perspective each time.  i think what i am doing now proves that is true.

how were the baseball games?  we'll be going to a softball game this afternoon.  my youngest son plays on a community league.  my middle son played until last year, but i think the realities of home ownership and parenthood have reared their exciting head!!

love to you...see you soon!!!

clare

(i think i get to the brink, look over the edge and throw up...fear of falling!!!)

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