metaphor for change

Clare,

I appreciate your words…
We are scheduled for family therapy on the 15th.
She wants to see husband and I first and then add the young man.
We just finished a pretty intense, emotional discuss with him.
I confronted him on a lie he told me and it precipitated a discussion. He told me he thought he should leave because this was too hard on me. I told him that he is running away, but projecting the blame/reason onto me. Husband joined us and we talked about our home, the rules, the benefits, the responsibilities, the perks. We talked about our values…
I asked him to think long and hard about whether he wants to leave or stay.
Staying means living within the structure of this family.
Leaving means going back to a group home.
HE is at an important decision cross point…
I also pointed out that his breaking of rules flagrantly- so that we see/catch him-
When he pressed he says it means, "I don't care"…
I replied that is the problem…
there is a place in you that wants to care and you are afraid of that.
Find that place and sit with it…
then decide.

I think I'm going crazy…
Life isn't supposed to be this difficult…
love isn't supposed to be this difficult…
helping others is supposed to be right and good…
and yet I feel as if I'm a prison guard.

I was the subject for a shamanic healing yesterday…
friends were taking a class…
the one woman told me I needed more flexibility…
the other told me I needed to look into the water to find the answers…
So I, once again, went to the pond by my horses' barn…
I looked out across the water and saw ripples, I watched a bug glide across the surface in spirals and then take off.
I looked deep into the water and saw murkier and murkier water, but bubbles and small bugs/minnows rose to the top.
I also watched a reed drift across the surface in the breeze, with a dragon fly sitting atop. The dragon fly would take off and fly and land right back onto the same reed. I wondered if it realized that, even though it was on the same reed, it was moving across the pond rapidly without any effort on its own part.
What does all of that mean?
I've read dragonflies and water bugs before…
a metaphor for change- usually death.

What do you think?

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie