yes means yes

Clare,

I remember a Carolyn Myss quote from the Omega retreat I went to,
"the more weight you carry, the longer you have to wait."
now, she was referring to emotional weight, what weighs us down psychically and emotionally,
but the same can be said for physical weight as well.

CM also wrote about using fat/obesity as an insulation against the outside world. I remember, at the time I had heard that I was struck by the number of obese women who were nurturing my daughter. My second daughter was a highly sensitive child (she still is)…
she had her godmother, a therapist, and a special teacher who all nurtured and guided her through her young life. Each was carrying trauma in different ways…much was manifested in their outward appearance. They all helped others selflessly, not just my daughter. But, to be able to do that kind of intense work they had to insulate themselves against the harsh realities of the world.
They are blessings to our lives.
Sometimes the best teachers/guides are those who have been previously hurt…
and know how to navigate the tough stuff.

My weekend was interesting. The two young men were not feeling well at my house this weekend. we had a very quiet day. They also overheard a conversation I had with my older son that affects them. My older son is supportive of bringing them to live here. Unfortunately, he is opposed to the criminal clearances and background checks, especially the FBI federal fingerprinting. I do not blame him. Why does the federal government have to make fingerprint/bio data files on private citizens? We all passed statewide criminal background screens run against our address and social security numbers in November.
None of us have a criminal record.
But this is a requirement.
I cannot fault his objection.
I cannot force him to comply.
But, this will have implications for the young men. That breaks my heart.
I do not know if we will be approved for them to come and live with us. I do not know if I should postpone the application until next summer when my son will most likely move out for full time college. I do know that I am in a tough place. I have to discuss this with the foster care coordinator before it makes me crazy. Any suggestions?

I spoke to the principal of my younger son's school today. I explained the rumors and asked her to be vigilant. I also suggested having SARC come and do a program about consent and what constitutes rape. She said that would be touchy because it is a catholic school that teaches abstinence only. But, she would consider it. I felt better after I spoke with her. I am not a secret keeper. I am a Light Bearer.

California has a law (passed in 2014) that specifically states "Yes means Yes". Consent has to be affirmed by all parties. Many universities have adopted this same policy. My university uses the Yes means Yes policy. We have a campaign right now "green dots" all over the school…reminding that all parties have to give a "green light" before sex is considered consensual- otherwise it's rape.

I spoke with B#4 today…
he had a clean check up at the doctor's today…
he's cancer free…
he was so excited.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie