separate accounts

Hi Maggie,

You posed some interesting questions.  I think we are living in the post-divorce trauma era.  I see many young couples now who maintain two separate accounts. They discuss who will pay what, but their money does not mingle.

Perhaps watching their parents split up and divide every aspect of life has led to this mistrust of relationships, this lack of communication, and even deeper fear of being vulnerable.

After reading your rhetorical questions, I really started to wonder how marriage and commitment have changed.

Do we  get married expecting it to last for a lifetime? Or are we just hoping?  Or do we completely lack faith in a lifetime of commitment.

In a way, it is positive that our children trust us.  It seems to be a step forward.  Now they need to evolve and create a family. They have to become the parents that can be trusted - together.   But my daughter comes from a broken home.  And her boyfriend has parents who divorced and both remarried, and so there are even more characters in the chaos of family...

I never though the whistles were for me.  Dad had me pretty sure I didn't deserve it.  After thinking about his brother yesterday, part of me wonders if it was part of the way he was protecting us.  A very misguided way to keep us from responding to anything that might be sexual invitation - welcome or not.  A bigger part of me understands he was beaten down and told he was worthless for most of his life, and he was just passing along the pain.

May Day is a holiday everywhere in the world but here, I think. So I have a light day.  I am going back to the garden...after I do a little Quaker work...I hope I remember to leave my desk before the baby arrives...

Love and hugs,

Enjoy this beautiful Spring day...

Clare