heartbroken

typing with babe in arms - take 2

plan - no capital letters! that might make this easier.

i feel like a volcano with a newly opening vent...emotions swirling, getting in my face, evaporating...

i have been watching grace and frankie, a show about two couples - the men are long time law partners who fall in love and leave their wives for each other.  the characters are all in their 70s, coping with massive change, massive loss.

i seem to associate with frankie, played by lily tomlin.  i have been in tears several times.  she is an old hippy.  so there's that.  but she is brave.  she is not afraid to be vulnerable. she is heartbroken, and not afraid to feel it.

i think i am heartbroken.  i think dad broke my heart when i was very young, and i have never healed.  i think i am still a little heartbroken because my marriage ended.  but i think i break my own heart regularly by not passionately loving myself, not supporting myself, not believing in myself.

it leaves me in my own sad, little world...

and i'm still exhausted.

i hope all is well with you...love and hugs,

clare