Cheese

S#4 did well...relief...

 Sometimes I get frightened and wonder which of the nine of us will transition first.  By odds or maybe by rights, as the oldest, it should be me.  In a way I lucked out being first, because Mom's body was healthiest.  But being overweight puts me at risk for many things...I don't want any of us to transition first...but that is unrealistic.

So I had one of those strange thoughts pop into, or maybe out of, my mind.

I am not a fan of processed foods, and try to avoid them, but sometimes that's what you got, and you just have to be grateful.  Tonight I made something that had cheese powder in it.  As I dumped the powder in a bowl, the words came - That's what happened to us.

We are sort of like processed humans.

I remember the first time I ate raw milk  cheese.  It made strange sensations in my mouth.  I was not sure if I liked it.  But I tried it again.  I began to perceive that it was alive in my mouth.

I started to prefer it.  And I prefer smaller amounts with lots of flavor.  Pizza glopped with piles of melted cheeses stuff just seems wrong.

Now pasteurized cheeses we get in the US taste dead to me. And cheese powder is not quite food.

I want to be raw milk cheese.   I want to be real and alive and intense.

I think I'm already a bit intense, but - oh well...

Love to our baby sister. Love to you...

Clare