more stories

Hi Maggie,

I hope all is well with you.  I miss you...

More stories are coming out of families like ours.  Families of incest where the males are protected, females are not believed.  There are a lot more stories of same generation abuse.  It seems there is a growing awareness that this is happening - a lot - and it is not okay.

Now we need to learn and accept that it is not a mistake.  Systematic attack, especially of more than one victim like in our family, shows a pattern of crime.

And more and more people are calling for the voice of the victims.  They want to hear from the girls, support the girls.  I hope we take the next step and wonder why our boys are rapists.  It is an important question in  all of this.

I did see one more thing that turned my stomach.  I read an article about purity balls.  Young adolescent girls, 12 years-old-ish, dress up in long formal gowns and go to a ball with their fathers.  The accompanying photo was of a dad kissing his preteen daughter on the mouth.  It really triggered me.  Is this inappropriate?  It really seems so to me.

But with the way we were raised, I really can't tell what is normal, what is appropriate.

Part of the ball is a ceremony where the fathers vow to protect their daughter's virginity, then give them a purity ring. The daughter promises no sexual activity of any kind, no interaction with boys until marriage.  She goes from being the property of the father to being the property of her husband.

Oh well, Dad certainly never promised to proect me!!!

Just watching these stories unfold, wondering if anyone in our family is feeling uncomfortable.  Or if memory loss is protecting them...

Love and hugs,

Clare