Sensually

My favorite yellow is daffodils.  I love daffs, and have planted many in many shapes and forms and hues.  In the spring, they awaken my heart, give me hope, trumpet the good news that: love is.

The problem with habits is that we are unaware.  We don't know we are in a thought loop or a behavior loop.  Where we are just seems normal, especially since everyone else in the family is there.  And especially since we find friends we understand - these are the people we have the best chance of working the issues out with.  We are simultaneously the teacher and the student, working with each other.

I always go back to the image of the poor fish in the bowl of water.  It doesn't know others exist in air.  What is air?  How do we get out of the water, and learn to breathe air like healthy people?  We have to be like frogs - undergo a complete metamorphosis.  I wonder if tadpoles or catepillars know what is happening...or do they just trust?

I don't trust.  I panic and cling.  It's the Irish philosophy - Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.  Cling to the familiar.  Just had an image of clinging to a sinking ship rather than having the courage to swim into unchartered waters...

I woke on my own this morning.  I love the absence of alarm clocks on a Saturday morning.  Even though it was early, it was gentle, progressive...ahhh, I'm awake.  There is a very large evergreen outside my window, and as I looked out, I saw puffy-fluffy snowflakes filtering through the branches. As I watched I thought about the straws blocking my core channel.  I wondered if I could remove it.  It turns out that the straws are part of a bear-trap like device.  I removed it and had some suggestions for where it could be used...and released it.  Today I feel alive.  I was standing on the floor in the dining room, and realized I could feel my feet.  That sounds weird, but it's big.  I feel like I am falling in love - but it's with me.

Take a look in the mirror. Do you like every single part of what you see? Then look longer. Keep staring until your doubts begin to disappear and you start to grow truly enamoured by the image. Never mind how long it takes.     -Jonathan Cainer

This was one of the first things I read this morning.  OK, I will sheepishly admit I read my horoscope every morning.  It was perfect for today.  Will I do this?  Let's see if I love myself enough to make time for me.

I feel a bit like Scrooge on Christmas morning.  I'm alive and different, but I don't quite know what to do with myself.

Just as you have a problems with the word crucifixion, I have a problem with circumcision.  I was in the forest, working with a Jack-in-the-pulpit once, and thought about the energy of the uncircumcized male.  You know that I ponder rape and violence a lot.  I think only the raped will rape.  Those of us who are treated with compassion and love are compassionate and loving.  It takes violence to teach us to be violent.  Because of my personal experiences, I have tried to distill - what is the essence of rape.  It is being confined, trapped, unable to escape or move.  It is being controlled by someone with more power.  It is being taught that you have no control - your body is not yours.  It belongs to whoever has the power to use you.  It is being violated in your body's sacred place of pleasure - shredding pleasure from your body forevermore.  That is circumcision.  Taking infants, days old, who are just beginning to trust the warmth of the breast, the comfort of adult arms, strapping them spread eagle in the cold air and taking a sharp knife to the more nerve-rich area of the body.  Rape.  And because the people who love them allow this, the essence of rape is - okay, acceptable. (Note - just as not all abused become abusers, not all circumcized men are violent.  In fact, I would say most are not.  But all are wounded.)

I have long wondered what would happen if a scientist collated incidence of rape, incidence of violence toward women and children with societies where circumcision is commonly practiced.

I do not want my heart to be circumcized.  I want to be intact.  I have been through enough pain.  The Creator made us perfect.  There is no part that needs to be removed.  We just have some parts that need to be activated!


I loved your lyrics.  Please let me be clay!  I want my transformation to be sensuous.  I want my whole life to be sensuous!

Sensually,

Clare