Leaping - well, hopping, sort of...

I have been a Friend, either an attender or a member for almost 26 years.  I have not spoken in worship.  One of those strong Quaker matriarchs, who is my role-model, once said she went to worship for 27 years before she spoke out of the silence.  Of course, I think she was a birthright Friend.  But she gave me permission not to speak.  I have only felt the leading twice.  Once, when I resisted, someone else stood up and delivered the message.  That was a true leading.  But I don't trust myself.  I took an eldering workshop, though, and realized I ground the meeting.  I go deep, and anchor worship.  It was nice to understand who I am.  Because I don't have a car, I don't get to worship often these days.  Once I am rolling again, I will head down to you and go to any or all of the demonstrations.  It makes me feel alive to be part of a group.

One of my formerly Catholic Friends once said that if we take Catholicism and strip away all of the outward-ness, we are left with Quakers.  He said these were the two mystical groups.  I liked that.

I love the interpretation of the Beatitudes that you brought here.  I like that we are asked to do something, to participate, to ask to be involved, even to initiate our request for healing. It is so much more satisfying that being the meek, waiting to inherit something, anything someday if we are patient and meek enough.  In a lot of ways, I think I have been waiting for it to be my turn for my whole life.  But I still have the, "That's okay, you go first.  I'll just wait..." kind of politeness.  I need to figure out how to be assertive while still being nice.

Upon rereading, I see you said it better than I did --- not stagnantly waiting...

Your last paragraph reminded me of a realization I had years ago.  Humans are flexible and constantly evolving.  One of the best parts of Quakerism, for me, is continuing revelation - Spirit continue to speak to each of us as long as we bother to listen.  I noticed that once a teacher or a leader had The Way to do things, and The Way became concrete, evolution was no longer possible.  And then the practice became ritual without meaning, and a way to control followers.  As soon as anything becomes concrete, I politely excuse myself.

Today's whimsy...in my dreams, I often begin to hop, then leap down the hill I live on.  I tried that today when I was walking.  I felt like a two year old just learning how to hop.  I was remarkably uncoordinated.  I made myself laugh.  I felt like a fool, but it's fun to be foolish!  And so far, that's just a dream maneuver...but it feels so real!

Did you see Thunder?

Love you sweetie,

Clare