Witness

If you are being led to speak, you must speak.  I think anger, as well as all of your deeply held emotions, is your friend.  Maybe the next part of your message is:  Look around.  If a woman is raped every minute, and...spew some statistics...then this many women have been raped...and so on for those who have abuse physical, sexual, emotional abuse...those who have witnessed abuse, those who have been dismissed     rather than believed.  Eventually we will realize that almost every single one of us is damaged and trying as hard as we can.  Some of us look as successful and bright as you.  But just imagine, just imagine if we were all whole.  Just imagine what the world would be like.  Just imagine how our species would shine and love each other and love the planet and share and support each other...

Just imagine...

Me, too...we heal together.

And for a lyrical interlude:

Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel
Had no example of a love, that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
And all your trouble
Don't be afraid, girl let me help
Girl let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Girl let me love you
A heart of numbness, gets brought to life
I'll take you there

That is by Ne-Yo, from Let Me Love You.

I admit I am a Gleek sometimes.  I was watching an older show while knitting this evening, and this song stopped me.   And earlier today I had a conversation with someone about Johnny Cash and June Carter.  Who saved who in that marriage?

I guess I have been wondering how much of this work we do alone, and how much we need someone else to mirror our beauty.  If someone else sees me, is it possible to finally see myself?

I remember a quote from the film Shall We Dance.  Susan Sarandon's character says:

We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'." 

We weren't witnessed as children and so we are lost.  Now we are trying to find ourselves, to become good enough to be witnessed.  

In away that is what you are doing by talking about abuse, the asking people to witness you and your strength and your struggles...I am still hiding.  And my thoughts are all over the place.  And I am beginning to get the cold my grandson had last week.

So I am going to take my sniffling self to bed.  Tomorrow will be a long day at meetinghouse, preparing for a contradance, then hopefully, I will feel like dancing!

I love you, Sleep well little sister...

Clare