The work you have been doing recently, the connections you have been making, have been astounding. I see you walking in the correct direction, open to whomever you find along your path. It seems you are functioning from faith, from your heart.
The one thought that came to me is that it is very hard to learn to be childlike when you never had a chance to practice when you were a child. I have a Friend who does international trauma recovery work. She does a somewhat local workshop on occasion which I would love to join. So far that hasn't happened. What she is learning is that she can heal some of the trauma of the people she works with through play. She gets the adults to play and it restores something in them.
When you come in May, I suggest we play. Maybe we need to brainstorm on all the different facets of play...playing Scrabble, playing guitar come to mind immediately. Playing in the creek...How playful is your younger daughter? I have often wondered about the benefits of theater...plays all the time!
I find that I am less worried than I used to be, But then, alone at night, sometimes I pick up my mantle of worry and wrap myself. Something a little insane in me thinks I am not protecting my children if I don't spend time worrying. I am trying to accept that part of me and laugh at it - lovingly laugh at it with acceptance...I am trying to stop berating myself...
So I listened to Defying Gravity a few times last night and the song is stuck in my brain. I never knew the song before, I just knew the title fit my recent mental explorations.
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!
These lyrics fit. I want to leap - even if it is just bunny hops six inches long.
Today it is cold and windy with a loooooooow wind chill. No walking outside, no jumping down the hills.
Tomorrow, maybe!
I love you!!
Clare
No comments:
Post a Comment