unsettled

Clare,

Life is a matter of passion versus drama…
the passion is inside of us…
important to us.
Drama is a circus show…
drawing the attention of others towards us.
It is a way of drawing others to us…
without a connection.

I did a presentation today…
stress=dis-ease…
I've done this several times before for various mental health professionals and students.
i love bringing this message to others…
don't judge the behavior- understand what lies beneath it.
People who have been traumatized respond appropriately to inappropriate signals from their bodies and minds.
Anyway- I though I had 2+ hours to talk…
I really had 1+ hours so I didn't get to one of the main points.
I feel as if I let the others down…
but I've been invited back to finish the talk.
It's funny….
I had great difficulty hearing the positive comments about the talk…
I focused on not finishing.
Why do we do that to ourselves...
refuse to celebrate our talents?

I am sorry about nephew's loss…
relationships are tough.
I wonder if he would help her though the difficulties she's encountering…
go to seek help together…
instead of ending the relationship.

I have 25 papers to read and grade this week. The students had to analyze a vulnerable population from a movie. I haven't seen many movies. It should be interesting reading about plots that I have no information on…
at least I won't have preconceived notions of what I think they should write.

The young man is still reaching out to me. yesterday he called…
but I was not with my phone. I was in the classroom so I texted him to say call after class. He still hasn't. I am not sure what he's going to say. I'm not sure what I'm going to say. I want to maintain contact, but don't want to be manipulated by guilt. I'm easily manipulated by guilt…
good catholic girl.

Your answer to the mama question is that I do not believe she will ever live alone. I think she is so used to company and support that she would be lost alone. I believe she will move in with S#5 after Papa dies and live out her days there. Ew will all have to continue to support S#5 in her efforts.

My mind and heart are in turmoil with the current conversation in our political race. It is increasingly apparent that men- and women- don't value women and children. Women who excuse the "locker room talk" have been conditioned that it is understandable if drunk men cannot help themselves and sexually assault women…
it sounds almost like a twisted compliment…
if I wasn't so attractive he could have controlled himself…
if I hadn't worn that shirt he wouldn't have been excited…
If I hadn't danced like that he would not have noticed me.
There is a perversion in this country. I am appalled that men I thought were friends defend that talk. I am even more offended when women accept it as normal. How do we teach respect and equality if these are the pervasive ideas in our society?

I think I have to quit listening to the news and debates and comedy skits about the candidates.
It is unsettling.

I am going to bed. I have a head ache… maybe a virus…my youngest is home with something similar. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie