glass of wine and PJs

Clare,

I am at the end of a very demanding week…
no time to think, reflect, pause, be quiet.
Today I organized a 5K Zombie run…
it was more successful than we anticipated…
leaving me with a few more things to do on Monday.

Daughter #2 was a zombie (husband and the youngest were too)…
she stayed and helped me make snack for Meeting tomorrow…
I love cooking and hanging out with her.
She avoided home when the young man was here…
so it is nice to have her coming back again.

I still have to prepare my lecture for Monday evening…
and husband made dinner reservations.
Sometimes I wan to hide in my room and not come out.

Life's demands do not end…
that is a blessing…
I have to take time to slow and breathe.

My reflections on last weekend…
I enjoyed being surrounded by family. After I wrote my letter many did not speak to me…
I appreciate that they have made peace with those feelings…
or maybe rewritten it.
I had a conversation with Papa…
he told me all about his consultations, procedures, and plans.
He told me that he has "fired" several of his doctors because things were not as he wanted it to be…
they kept him waiting, told him something he didn't like…
It's his way of controlling what he can control…
making it less scary.
I felt like he has a good handle on his choices…
I'm not sure anyone can anticipate the pain and stress that's to come.

He doesn't know how to talk to young people. He doesn't know how to talk to us. He tries to connect. He fails when he tries. But, he is trying. I agree that he does not take time to know people…
too demanding…
too much effort.
I hope that your daughter can conjure up another memory of Papa to hold on to….
for her sake.

I am off to dinner…
because husband thinks I need a break…
I need a glass of wine and PJs.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie