Mother Tiger

I have been waiting for you...and hoping everything is all right.

I am in the aftermath...

Dad patted my youngest's belly and told her it was too bad she never lost her baby fat.  He told her she looked 10 years older than she is.

He is going to die and these are the words that will remain.

He said her boyfriend looks like a fat B#1.

Mother Tiger emerged.  I sent him a card to arrive on his actual birthday and I included a note.  The last time I wrote them a letter, he refused to speak to me for five years.

If that happens again, it is over between us.  There will never be another chance.

But you know, I have been talked to like that for all of my life.  I have been convinced that I deserve it. But not my child.  Not my brave and wonderful baby.

I sent them a letter with no opening address -No Dear Dad and Mom.  I just said I wanted to give them the update on my youngest. 

I said - she did lose her baby fat.  She was doing great.  But then after work one night, she slipped and dislocated her kneecap.  The kneecap began to dislocate regularly, so she went to an orthopedist who did an MRI and found a birth defect in the formation of her knee.  They did an experimental surgery. 

I didn't tell them that the surgery was not completely successful, and she has been having problems on and off for the past almost two years.

But I did tell them she slipped this summer and damaged the donor tendon.  Now the kneecap is loose again. She is on pain killers much of the time, as well as muscle relaxants.  This has been hard on her, and on her appearance.

I told them that it kills me that she is in pain.  But she is in pain almost continuously.

I hate that my child is in pain. I hate it.

I told them that she will have a reparative surgery on November 4, and I asked them to pray for her.

I told them that she is enrolled to go back to school, she works full time, and she takes great care of her child.

She is someone to be proud of.

I also mentioned that if he bothered to get to know David, he would have found a shy, gentle, generous, warm-hearted, kind and funny man.  So much more than fat.

I ended by saying kindness matters, and that is what I want for this family.  I told them I love them both so much...

My daughter's attitude was - I took time off from work for this...

She say she has no heart. I say he has a broken heart from what his dad and brothers did to him.  I say he does not want any of us close to him. He can not stand the pain of vulnerability.

So we made it. We have happy pictures.

I was actually pretty relaxed and okay.  If I had a car I would have left about two hours before we did.  I was tired, and drifting off.

What are your reflections?

Love and hugs from Clare