better

Clare,
It is over…at least the co-habitation.

The CYS worker called this morning to talk with me. She told me how the young man cried when he realized he was really being relocated. Really cried.
Even though he acknowledged he wanted out…
he still could not believe we actually had him removed…
that sounds terrible…
like old furniture gets removed.
He wanted to know if he could contact us…
we agreed that was as good thing.
The CYS worker asked if we'd consider holiday visits…
I agreed that we could do that if everything is calm.

So, the change in location may be the beginning of a new chapter with the young man.
One that will spare us the  anger and terrorizing…
but will allow growth and relationship.
When I asked a friend- last year- what she thought of fostering this young man she replied, "you may be more useful to him as his therapist than as his mother." In retrospect she may be right…
I'll never be either of those to him again.
But I can be a friend…
a surrogate mom maybe…
I can teach him that treating another with disrespect and bullying is not appropriate…
they may not like you very much...
but it doesn't mean they don't love you.

So, I plan on texting him goodnight, as I do all of my children that are away from home. I will let him open to the lessons and insights as he is able. I will try to listen more and talk less. I will try to love despite his prickly exterior.

I am glad you are feeling better…
I have been wheezing and coughing for 3+ weeks now. It was especially pronounced when I was talking about my young man. The stress of it was literally choking me.

So, I have more time to myself now. I have to find a way to reconnect with my inner self. I have been so distracted by my daily problems I'v forgotten how to tune into my center and just breathe….
a worthy cause.
My new goal.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie