sweetness

Hi Maggie,

I was surprised. Mom called me yesterday to talk about Dad. We moved from phone to Skype, and the conversation became toddler dominated. The toddler was being cute.

I think Mom needs support.  I think she needs us to reach out to her.

I talked to all of my kids...well, 4 talks, 1 email, and let them know they might want to go visit.

I read an article yesterday, before I got the news...synchronicity...that made me cry. I am attaching it here...I sent a link to S#3.  She called just after I read it, and I was still a little weepy.

http://www.nextavenue.org/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-dying/

The article talks about our fantasies of making peace, of pulling out the old wounds, of expecting apologies and breakthroughs. I know that is not going to happen. But the article then talks about sharing what we appreciate about someone.  About making the last words kind, not something we will regret.

I think it is the piece I needed. I know I wrote sometime earlier this month that I wasn't sure what I wanted, well except apologies and love and acceptance from him, which was not based in reality. I didn't know exactly what I needed to exchange with Dad at the end.

Now I know it is kindness.

I am going to try to remember the sweet times and let him know I appreciate them. I remember.  He didn't talk to me for about 5 years after I wrote to Mom - at her request- and talked about the effects on us of his meanness. Well, the story always has two sides.

So let's think about the sweet side and get tender towards each other.

My neighbor made a prediction. She said there was going to be a gathering, no children - all adults. There will be healing. She also said we should try to visit before the end of summer...don't wait until fall.

I found it interesting that Mom said Dad would do surgery, radiation and chemo.  He was willing to fight. He was glad when they said he could fight.  Then S#5 said he will refuse chemo.  The Delana drama begins anew!

I know gem elixirs. I made a few when I was making a lot of flower essences. Someone I knew then made them. We were working with them one day, and I felt drunk. We all have different modalities that work with us. The essences/elixirs resound with me. Powerfully.  I have a book here that talks about the gems and crystals and their effects.  I'll share it with you when you visit.  You can see if you would like to borrow it.

I'm glad you had a chance to talk to your foster-son. I always found driving was a great time to communicate with the boys. The girls prefer sitting face-to-face, and talking. The boys panic. They prefer to be side-by-side, doing something. Then they open up.

And always trust your intuition.Don;t let anyone silence you...especially yourself!

I have been having long days at work followed by long times with my granddaughter followed by still needing to write reports, almost until bedtime. I am dragging...S#5 and her crew will be here this weekend. I have a three-day weekend. I hope that helps.

Love and hugs from Clare