anxious mom

Clare,

I like the image of the birthing…
That makes sense to me.
Patience and looking at the big picture of growth and development.
But, these battles are driving me crazy.

We were officially approved as foster parents…
we received the letter today.
I wonder how they would have told our young man if we weren't approved…
that would be devastating.
They had all of our paper work before he was released to us…
but it was unofficial.
Our court date is next Monday….
then he will be assigned to our house.
I am a little anxious at times…
knowing he's not officially court ordered to be here…
"what ifs"haunt me every time there's a decision to be made.
I took him to the neighboring town today…
where his high school is located…
to play with friends.
On the way I admitted to him that I was anxious about leaving him there. It felt like leaving my toddler at their first preschool or playdate. I explained it wasn't him…
just my reaction to the situation.
He did fine…
it was all fine…
I have to get used to this.
I don't want to screw any of this up.
I like the idea of asking the young men's mother for guidance. I've been doing that in a round-about way. I ask her to help me speak to them in a way that will connect. I haven't sensed anything yet, but it may be working quietly.

I have been gardening…
both vegetables and perennials…
I'm mulching and planting and transplanting…
it makes me happy.
The one thing that's not so nice is that my neck and shoulders go into spasm very easily.
I'm hurting right now.
This too shall pass.

I had an oncology appointment today.
All is well.
Return visit in one year!
Yeah!
I am having some revision surgery done in August to remove some scar tissue and fatty deposits around the lady lumps. I agreed to a revision if he could do it under local with sedation. I hate the aftereffects of general anesthesia…
it takes me a week to get over that.
I'm having it done the week after our vacation…
hopefully I will do well…
no complications…
right back to work the next day…
or maybe the day after that.

Anyway, enjoy this beautiful weather.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie