day of light

Hi Maggie,

Your healing process idea sounds so good.  And it gives you something exciting to do, to be involved in...it puts you in a wonderful, healing community.  I'm looking forward to watching this unfold...blossom, maybe.

Could you ask your foster son to cook?   I wonder if researching nutrition, then planning and preparing a meal would make him appreciate and become excited by the realm of healthy foods - fresh fruits and vegetables - whole grains.  Use his intellect, maybe, and see if he can tell you why eating beef and white flour daily is detrimental to the health.

What does he do when you make other foods?  Does he try it, or does he boycott dinner until he gets what he wants.

I remember once, my kids came home from visiting with my in-laws. They were astounded that their aunt had 20-some boxes of cereal - all different. (They counted!)  They were invited to choose any kind they wanted.  (I was opposed to processed cereals, especially the sugar/chemical laden ones, and I usually made them eat pancakes or oatmeal or bagels or eggs...)  And she took orders for lunch.  They thought that was more restaurant than family.

Different families have different expectations, I suppose.

What did they serve at your foster son's group home?  Were spaghetti and cheeseburgers treats? What did he routinely do at the group home to pass the days?  Has he discovered any passions yet?

I remember when I pulled my kids out of public school in order to homeschool them.  At first they did nothing.  I trusted that they would become interested in something, and they did. But it seemed like they needed that period of nothing to sort of wipe the slate clean and prepare for something new. Perhaps your foster son is doing something like this.

Is there a consequence for being 30 minutes late?  If not, who cares if he is late.  If so, then enforce the consequence without negotiation, without listening.  If you think he is being sneaky, then he is. Trust yourself, Mama.   Don't minimize.

I hope you and your husband have a chance to communicate before he bursts one of those blood vessels in his neck!  He probably has a whole lot of stress with the problems with your youngest, with having a new teen in the house, with being faced by cheeseburgers every fricking day! Maybe he wants to jump ship too.

Are you overfilled or underfilled? I am not sure, but I was wondering if the load was simply unbalanced.

I could not sleep last night. Actually drank half a cup of coffee today.  Got jittery, but got through my work day mostly coherently.  And now I am tired.

Happy Solstice!  Enjoy the Light.  Let every bit stream into your heart!

Love and hugs from Clare