what's mine? what's theirs?

Hi Honey,

How are you feeling?  I saw that Mom said you still sound very weak, and so I don't want to nag.  I'm waiting to check in...

But I'm here.

So --- I saw an article that said we can inherit memories from our parents and grandparents.  That freaked me out a little.  I wondered if the overwhelming feelings I get when I hear stories of miners trapped underground come from Mom and her panic at being trapped in a trunk by her sibs.  I wonder how many of my responses come from a connection with Grandma B.  I feel like I am her sometimes.

Then I stopped to think about the way B#1 has rewritten his story and apparently lost memory of what he truly did and S#3 losing memory of what happened to her in order to survive. 

So --  we don't necessarily have our own memories, but we probably have those of our mom and grandmom.  It's a wonder we have any connection with sanity at all...if we do...

When I think about Grandmom, I worry about ending up like her.  She was deaf and blind.  Then I realized that she did not want to see or hear the reality of what happened to her/around her.  I will be different.  I will listen, I will see.  even when it breaks my heart, I will be vulnerable. I will never pretend things did not happen.

I love you, I can't wait to reconnect.

Sending healing thoughts,

Clare