Anger surfaces

Clare,

I am having a very angry day. Husband was off again today. Everyone just started the day slowly…
but I was doing laundry…
loading the dishwasher…
getting ready for work.
I found myself muttering under my breath, "I am really angry" this morning.
I said the same thing last night.

I'm not sure what I am angry about…
or to be more specific there are many things that have me angry…
My boys and husband not helping around the house…
despite knowing I am working to get things done on a deadline they just want to have fun…
husband tells me he is unable to lift anything heavier than a coffee cup for 12 weeks!
Are you F***ing kidding me?
So I am supposed to step up and take care of him again.
Son#1 wants to hang with his friends because they leave for the beach tomorrow and he'll be bored all next week…and Son#2 just slept on the couch even though he was asked to mow the lawn.
Tonight all 3 of them are off playing baseball and hanging with friends.
I am ready to find a spa- hospital where I can have surgery and recover without this hassle.
I think that there has been such a long time between diagnosis and the surgery that they all forget that I am in need of assistance and support.

I also saw one of the saddest, most devastated women of my life today. Her energy made me start to have a true sense of her many traumas. I could feel the sliminess of her perpetrators. In the end I told her that she was not a bad person…she had people do bad things to her and she has made bad choices…but she is not inherently bad. I want to cry for her. Her negative energy has made me more angry…I need to cut that energy cord now.

I am going to try to distract myself…
Love and Light,
Maggie