Grammy's fam

Hi Maggie,

So I ate sugar again today.  I am logy, I don't feel like working in the garden, when before sugar I was so excited every day.  I don't even feel like going outside.

It's poison, but it's such a sweet poison - so sweet I can pretend it's not.  I guess that's the part where it numbs my brain.

I guess I'm also just tired. My youngest's schedule changed, and so I watch the baby on both of my days off.  It seems I am in complaining mode!

I had a couple Grammy moments.  I was talking to someone about my pattern of sending things late.  I am great at getting things packed, but terrible at getting them in the mail. Then I remembered we always got cards late from Grammy.  I decided it is genetic.  I was also talking about knitting, and I physically remembered sitting all snuggled up to Grammy when I was about 12 or 13, learning to knit. 

I am hoping to get out west to visit my son and his family and remembered when Grammy moved out to Cali to help Aunt T.  We only saw her every few years after that.  I knew, when my son and his family moved west, the same would happen again.  I haven't seen them for two years and I hate it.  I hate having them so far away.

Family patterns.

Mom told me once that Grammy's sister, Aunt Ruth, used to plant potato peels with eyes in them.  And potatoes would grow.  And I have been thinking a lot about their brother who died at the Battle of the Bulge. An immigrant family sacrificed a son.

For some reason, this family is with me.  I wish I knew more. There had to be violence and/or alcohol or Grammy would not have married Grampa S.  And something weird was going on or Mom would not have been so frightened of sex.  And she never would have married into Dad's family.

Grammy had Sami heritage.  Someone told me these people were treated as badly as the Native Americans have been treated here. And their records were not seen as valuable enough to be kept.  That could be the root of some of the violence.

 Oh, and yesterday when I said we should do a soul retrieval, I meant you and me us.

How are things in your home?  Please keep me posted.

Lots of love from Clare