The snow is beautiful. We have about 8 inches on the ground, having steady snow all day today to add to Saturday's accumulation.
The boys had a 2 hour delay…our favorite.
I was up at 4:30 with a cat throwing up on my comforter…
and the hall…
and the stairs.
I cleaned it all up and went back to sleep until 6:15…
taking advantage of the delay.
I had a session with my Reiki healer today…
she is so kind…and insightful.
We talked about angels/demons/and other forms of energy 'beings'…
She said things that are making me re-conceptualize my vision of the universe.
Like there really are evil forces at work in the universe…
I have come to believe that things that seem evil to our understanding may have a higher purpose that we can't comprehend…
kind of like our suffering discussion…
is it necessary or not?
At the beginning of the session she asked about me dreams…
I told her that I was not remembering content, but that there were a lot of people and they were generally upbeat.
At the very end of the session we were talking…
and she was talking about completing tasks that I've started…
it was deja vu…
I started to laugh and she looked puzzled…
I told her that I must be dreaming at night because I had already had this conversation with her…
I guess I should follow that directive…
finish up the projects that I have started.
I said 'no' to a request yesterday…
I decided to take this authenticity challenge seriously.
A Friend/friend asked me to go to a weekend clerking workshop…
as much as I would love to spend a weekend with this woman and at Pendle Hill…
I just have no interest in a clerking workshop.
I let the request sit with me for 24 hours or so and just could not get excited about it.
So I politely declined the invitation.
I actually thought about my needs and interests and how this would impact my goals…
I am OK with the 'no'.
I ate like crap today…but that is something to work on tomorrow.
A friend called me the other night…and then spoke with me today…
about her sister, who is depressed, and threatening suicide, and to hurt her siblings.
My friend can't understand why her sister is so upset…
they all had the same upbringing.
I listened and then told her that perhaps her sister's past had more to it than hers did…
perhaps she was sexually abused.
I shared my experiences …
one of 9 kids…
two of whom were sexually abused (that we know of)…
and some of our siblings' reactions…
it fits, there are many pieces that she shared that fit.
I told her that perhaps she could find a gentle way to ask her if there was something deeper than the physical abuse/discipline they all received at the hands of their parents…
if she asks her sister might just share.
Christmas Eve is a week away…
and I don't feel pressure or anxiety…
I don't have a lot of stuff, but have thoughtfully bought presents for each person…
it feels settled…
it feels good.
We are spending an afternoon with husband's family after Christmas...
of course it is the same day as the Delana Clan gathering.
Part of me is sad to miss it, I feel stronger and more ready to take on the clan…
but, at the same time, I like my peace of mind and balance.
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