Miracles?

Just one other thing to think about - if your friend's husband is just home from Afghanistan, there are a lot of issues for him.   After doing some work with vets, and hearing some stories, after seeing the way they are treated by the government and our society - I think that may be the first issue.  It is not easy.  We know that from growing up.  I remember the year after Dad got home from Viet Nam.  One of the all-time worst years of my life.  We hurt our soldiers and neglect our vets so much.

Life is always a balance of good and bad...of sweet and of struggle.  Sometimes it is more obvious than at other times.

Your post talked of a careful dash to Bethlehem and the birth of new babies.  It is truly a Christmas story!

I often sing to the garden.  Or I sing in the garden.  It feels right.  I also sing to the babies.  Still can't think of my favorite carol, though.  I am sure it will come.  Still don't have five things I love about Christmas,

Still thinking about our processed lives.  Thinking about virtual connections to others.  Thinking about having electronics or myths intruding in reality, into real touch.  I was wondering if the Christmas story intruded on our celebration of this time of year.  The main story is of Santa Clause bringing you lots of stuff if you are good.  Not so much if you are not as worthy.  Something worthless if you are bad or unworthy.  Not connected at all to the story of a birth of a baby in a barn when everyone had to go be counted and taxed.  Maybe at this time of year, but probably not.  Somehow the stories are clung to equally, and sort of woven together..

My grandson told me he has to be good, for Santa.  Sort of letting us know we are never loved unconditionally by anyone at any point in our lives.

I have been thinking about my marriage.  Why did I give up?  That was not unconditional love, on either of our parts.

Maybe this is why Christmas movies are romantic and why people who are uncoupled feel so lost at this time of year.  Christmas brings joy to those who are good.  If we are not good, no gifts and no partner.  We get absolutely nothing.

Of course, we get family and chocolate and sweet memories - but none of that counts in the current myth,

I guess this is what I keep coming back to.  What are we celebrating?  What do we believe?

Am I harping?  I apologize.  I am really trying to figure this out, to find my way through this time of year.  To find my way to authentic.

Maybe my resolution should be to live authentically.  That would explain/include the real, whole, slow foods.  But other than that, I'm not sure what it means.  I know that my existence is rather reaction oriented.  I am constantly reacting to what is thrown at me, which means I never quite choose my direction.  I never have the slack to decide, or to evaluate and choose a direction.  I just keep bailing.

Sort of an up and down mood.  I think I am trapped in realism when I want to leap into magic Christmas beliefs.  I do believe in miracles, after all.

I love you!

Clare