I didn't sign in yesterday because I was having a 'poor me' day. I was very emotional. I had an argument with my youngest on the way to school because I wouldn't lie to cover his tardiness for school (a chronic problem). I ate about a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream to drown my sorrows…and had to remind myself that authenticity starts 1/1/14.
We decorated the Christmas tree when all of the kids got home Wednesday evening, my older son was making veiled threats about what he would do if he didn't get 'good stuff' for Christmas, and how unfair it was that we bought family presents that he won't use (I beg to disagree).
I got so tired of the selfishness that I walked away…
but his attitude must have steeped into my brain…
because I woke up cranky.
And then the cascade of events- including waking up with no heat or hot water- left me feeling quite un-Christmas-y.
This is the part of Christmas that I dislike…
the expectations…
and my underlying fear of not living up to those expectations.
I wanted to share a TED talk with you http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html
It's called The Danger of a Single Story. The presenter, as a young woman raised in Nigeria and then educated in the US talks about how stereotypes are established…by hearing only one story, and establishing out perceptions from those.
It was a beautiful talk…
it made me think of this blog…
and our story.
I think that we are blessed to have 2 stories to share, and write about…
but this story would be so much more comprehensible and full if we had 9 (or more) other voices sharing their unique memories. We would not be creating a stereotypical story of child abuse survival and the quest to process the memories and create a better understanding of our lives and journeys.
I apologetically keep coming back to this…
but what if our family conversation had not been stifled abruptly when it began to dig deeper and broad?
There are times when I think I/we should try to reignite that conversation…
but we did, by inviting them to visit this site and join our on-line conversation, and none have taken advantage of this opportunity. Is that fear? Is it being comfortable with ignorance? Is it just not giving a damn about life?
Life calls us to move deeper into our souls and our selves. How can we just ignore our heart's voice that calls to us? It invites you to walk the path of self-discovery…
and along the way…
universal truths are revealed.
How can we shut that out?
I can't…
it calls…
just as loudly as that mint chocolate chip ice cream called my name yesterday.
An interesting note…
today I was candling my daughter's ears and she offered to share a Beyonce' video with me because it was about female empowerment and I was working on that today. Throughout the video Chimamanda Adichie spoke about the power of women…the same woman in the TED talk.
I think I am supposed to pay attention to this woman and her message.
No more school until after the New Year begins…a reprieve from morning battles…and rushing.
I love no schedule! At least for a little while until I need the structure of a schedule…just like me to want it both ways.
I was thinking of your friend's tarot reading…
I am going to work very close to home and help people by listening to them and trusting my intuition. It is kind of amazing how that is coming to pass.
I begin my orientation there on Monday…I am excited and nervous.
Love and Light,
Maggie
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