matriotocracy

I read your post last night, then wanted to take time to think about it.  What has risen in my mind, what I have been poking at all night, is that there seem to be two approaches to life.  I'm not sure how to name them.  Maybe cooperative vs competitive  or  violent vs pacifist  or maternal vs patriotic - not quite a match, but...some of us use a military, war-mongering, war-maintaining attitude and vocabulary in all aspects of life.  Everything is either/or, win/lose, black/white.  It's good and we fight for it, it's bad and we fight it.

It's so easy to label a person or a situation bad, identify that as the source of abuse, condemn, maybe remove.  All better now?  Never!  Because we have not taken the time, nor had the compassion or wisdom to understand what happened to the perpetrator of the abuse.  

Am I making any sense?  It seems, from the outside, that there are two factions of healers.  The war-like attackers who want to remove symptoms then monitor and diagnose until certain the "disease" is gone.  Then there are the "warriors" who are brave enough to venture into the disease...what are the roots, what happened and when, how did it change things, why did it happen?????  This is harder work.

(We need new vocabulary to distinguish between these warrior-types!)

Vulnerable can be open to attack...if we are constantly at war.  Or vulnerable can be ready for love or for community - to let someone in...if we are diving deep and becoming one, finding peace, solving the riddles of our pain, forgiving and releasing, trusting once again...finding that wounded self deep in the swamp and providing support and courage to live again.


You said:

I learned that child victims of emotional abuse are more likely to be sexually assaulted as adults than child sexual abuse survivors..


I can suggest an explanation.  Once we have been sexually assaulted, we learn to offer ourselves, to give into sexual pressure quickly as a way of maintaining control.  Therefore it is not sexual assault.  I am being very vulnerable here, and sharing personal experience.

Also, I think emotional abuse puts us in a place where we don't know how to protect ourselves.  We are open to any kind of abuse.

About this weekend - the kids are sick, and there's a public health alert in the county due to some viral outbreak.  My youngest and her daughter are feeling off.  I was afraid of exposing my friend, and so I had to stay home this weekend.  The decision made me incredibly sad, but it's for the best.  We'll try again soon.  But I miss her.  I was really looking forward to long stretches of quiet time together.  She is so wise and funny.

Have a nice First Day,

Love from Clare