Clarification

I need to clarify...I feel that what the quote, "Don't help people who don't want to be helped." means that it is disrespectful to people to help them...or force them to change...or label their choices as bad... if they do not see their behaviors or lifestyles as wrong. It isn't meant to be a poke or hurtful in any way...it comes from a place of respect for the individual. Many times helping professionals rush into a 'crisis' situation and solve the problems, without taking time to understand the big-picture situation. That's patronizing to the person/community. The quote was taken from a TED talk entitled, Want to Help? Shut up and listen!.

You are so quick to take responsibility for way too many things. I find that when I write something you take it on, wear it, even if it doesn't quite fit. I don't share these ideas to make you feel badly. I share them because they offer me insight and a slightly different perspective of our history or my life. I think that has a lot to do with being the oldest...and from a dysfunctional family...I found that blog-post last night that you shared about 5 behaviors frequently found in children from abusive families (http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-stupid-habits-you-develop-growing-up-in-broken-home_p2/). I just don't want you to feel badly about the ideas that I share...maybe motivated to change...but not badly.

It's raining at the beach. I am not complaining because it is snowing/icing at home. My girls and I decided to create a dinner challenge...5 ingredients or less. We went to the grocery...each bought 5 ingredients or less...only stipulation was that it had to be vegetarian...and then came home to cook. Daughter#1 made fajitas...daughter#2 made a sweet onion galette with Brie...and I made a vegetable pot-pie...dinner was great...and we laughed. What a great afternoon.

It's funny...the only thing that I can remember about Thanksgiving are the pictures...I can't remember what we used to eat...maybe the stuffing. I don't remember if we ever had it with extended family...or if it was just the 11 of us. It amazes me how spotty my memory is.

I hope that you have a wonderful time with your family. Is your Ex able to get there with the wintery weather? I hope that you all are safe.

Until tomorrow...
Loads of Light,
Maggie