maybes

Hi Maggie,

Trying to herd my kids into Thanksgiving commitments and so far 2.5 of the 4 that live close have commitments  to in-laws. One couple may split and one would come here here, one goes to the other fam, and the fourth of the local kids has not answered the phone or replied...My youngest and her love and the babe want to have dinner with me the night before, so we can spend time together. Someone suggested family feast the weekend before or after. But hunting season takes priority, I think.

A few years ago I spent Christmas Day with my ex, because we had the same situation. What if something like that happens again?

Why do we put so much emphasis on holidays, and believe miracles have to happen on the exact date?

Sigh..........

I have been thinking about life and death a lot...of course...and slow-mo suicide. And why I need to hide from life.

Why be here and hide?  Why am I afraid to be seen.

I had some answers, but they are escaping my brain for the moment...I will try to round them up and share...

But I was messaging with S#5 and she mentioned a 39 mile walk for breast cancer that she has always wanted to do. It is done in 2 or 3 days. Three days, I could probably do. She is thinking maybe in 2018.  It seems within the realm of possibility for me.

Maybe...

Love and hugs from Clare