You're on a roll tonight!
Why estranged? This was the thought pattern...How can someone claim he was kicked out and denied his children when we went to a mediator? We spent a lot of time talking and trying to be fair and respectful. Which reminded me that I gave my copy of the agreement to my lawyer, for when she filed the separation at the county courthouse. Later, I went to retrieve my copy and she had only filed the first page. She couldn't find, or denied she had the rest. But I couldn't afford the fees for a divorce anyway. And I don't think he wanted to finalize it, because if he did he might have to marry one of the women he has lived with...so, in the end, we still haven't divorced. Occasionally I remember that, and so...estranged.
I agree that now, when S#3 is very burdened, very uncomfortable with the situation she is in, it is a prime moment for change. I am worried about the pressure she is under. I will hold her in the Light and pray she makes the step into the unknown. I want her to know we are here, nearby.
You wrote succinctly about S#3, but I think the message was really for me. My situation is different, but I also use responsibilities to hide myself, to avoid taking a step into something new...
I will rethink my interpretation, but it lands me in the past...I go back to the Marianne Williamson quote. I think we have posted it here before, but it still scares the crap out of me...
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I had this posted on the wall of our cabin many years ago. I was glad when it became so commonplace that I ceased to see it.
Every time I consider this, my inner nun, ruler in hand to keep me in line, comes to alert to remind me not to show off..."Who do you think you are???"
I talked to someone about the Einstein letter and he said: it's not mass times the speed of Light squared, it's mass consciousness times the speed of Light squared. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that!
I have been trying to walk daily. I am somewhat succesful. But I find that if I make time to walk, I don't have time for other things I need/want to do - like wash dishes or knit.
I'll get more efficient, I hope!!
Ooooh, and I forgot to tell you...I'm going to an Experiments With Light session on Saturday with someone who was trained to lead them. I'll keep you posted!
Love and hugs from Clare
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