experiment

Hi Maggie,

I wanted to record/share what I received in the Experiment With Light today.

First we were asked to relax and become receptive. Then we asked ourselves what is really going on.  I got images, passing one after the other, of tents and skulls and movement...people moving.

Next we were asked to look at an issue that presents itself.  I think I was working with abundance-scarcity-enough.  What is the issue?  Shame.  (Big surprise there!)

I saw myself wrestling with Dad.  We were in what seemed to be a large intestine.  We were trapped inside. The intestine was roiling as I realized there were generations of fighting moving off into the distance. In the end, the tube, the container we were trapped in was pegged down.  There was no escape. Being pegged felt like a crucifixion.

Dad and I were wrestling, rolling around in the black and light.  I was told to, or maybe assisted to, step out of the enclosure, and stand in the Light.  I was naked and bruised and cut and panting. I could not stand up straight. I almost could not breathe. I was told to stand alone in the Light.  But then a guide told me I am never alone.

As I stood there, learning to breathe again, I saw a black thing inside me.  I heard that we all have a monster within.  It was like mud or tar.  I was directed to smear the black all over myself, especially on my arms and face.  I didn't want to, but I did it.  Then the Light dried it and it flaked away. 

I was in a circle with my sisters.  I   saw that I am a ghost in S#4's circle, as she is a ghost in mine.  I need to reach out to her. Our being sisters is our strongest connection now. We are a layer below Mom, a layer above our children.  We are connected to them, but we need each other.

The tar is my block.  As I was considering this, I saw a tiny newborn. I think it was me. I saw a large face close to the infant. The moon, maybe...I thought of tomorrow's eclipse.  Rebirth?

What do I do now?  I am on a cliff, near the edge. I have to learn to breathe the Light.  I was shown how to breathe the Light.  Wait. Be patient. The Light spreads.  I felt a physical release between the red and orange chakras.

I think sexual violence + silence creates a breach - blocks being grounded from community. Maybe this is why we feel so alone...

I got the feeling that I have to make peace with Dad...

Thinking, processing...

Love and hugs from Clare