forced family fun

Clare,

I have been busy, but that is no excuse for skipping the blog…
it is important to connect.

The images from Experimenting with Light are powerful. The battle inside the bowels was really interesting. The book that I am reading says we all go through a crucifixion to allow rebirth into the second, mature, half of life. Stepping into the Light and removing the black, tarry mask is amazing imagery.
So, how does that feel in real life?
How do you make that real?
Do you reach out to Dad?
I've been trying to motivate myself to do that for over a year now.
Connecting with S#4 is important, but she is not yet a mature, developed being. She still lives in the superficial. I'm not saying that she is shallow or petty, but she doesn't really go deep. She loves us all, but is engulfed by her husband's family and friends and feels little need to reach out unless there's a crisis. The next few weeks would be a good time to reach out, her surgery is about 2 weeks away and she'll be feeling anxiety, need some support. It will be an opening.

The lake really does speak to you. You found your home. Do you think that S#3 will end up living up there near you? She seems to gravitate there. I don't think it's just her son's presence there, its more than that. I see her heading up there when she has a bit more freedom to move.

I am hosting a birthday dinner for my older son today. The plan was that each child would bring their current boy/girlfriend along. I was excited, planning a menu, etc. Last evening my older son said that he and his girlfriend are going to a park today and won't be coming home for dinner. I wanted to cry. I took some time and realized I'll have my other kids and their friends, so it will be good. I hate the thought of not having all of my family gathered for years at a time- as happens in our family. I think it would break my heart. But, I cannot force the issue either. Forced family fun is just too much work.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie