making a break

Hey Sister,

You've been busy.  I had the baby last night and again this afternoon. It's so hard to write with her here.  She needs all my attention, partly because it is so cool to have someone's attention, partly because she is sooo 2.

I spent some time with a Celtic priestess many, many years ago.  She taught that women have three partners during life...sort of matching maiden, mother, and crone.  Sometimes it is the same partner, but often it is not. 

I think that ties in with your musings about marriage.  We change.  We become other people. If we are lucky, our partners change in ways that continues to complement us. If not...either we endure, or we walk away.  Either way takes a lot of work...

I think men don't ask for counseling because of the cultural oppression we heap on them to be strong and independent...to not need anybody, to be available to help anyone...to be the knight in shining armor...to not be a sissy.  I also think counseling techniques tend to favor the female ways of communicating. Just observations as the mother of boys...

Building a home for women who need to escape is a wonderful idea.  The need to escape, to detach themselves, is emotional and psychological.  Why make it financial too? Smacks of 'God loves those with money.'  Those who do not have money...well, we're suffering for a reason. God doesn't love us as much.

I allowed two  women going though divorces - both leaving terrible situations - to live in my house as an escape route.  I have also taken in friends of my kids who needed some distance.  Just walking away took real guts.  I never charged anyone for staying with me.  Faced with that, they may not have been able to go.

That financial dependence, which ties right in with women making 3/4 of what a man makes when in the same position and with the same education and experience, then let's consider what women in traditional pink collar jobs make...that blocks so many.  We see homeless folk. We see homeless women and children...so which is worse - homeless or abused?  There are really no good choices.

But what if there were a haven women could go to?

Just thinking out loud here.

I took the baby into the garden today.  We harvested potatoes and onions and garlic. She was fascinated and engaged for about two hours.  We were both laying in the dirt, working together.  It was sweet. Just as we finished digging the garlic, she noticed the cherry tomoatoes, and picked about half a dozen.

The sun was shining, the flowers blossoming -- beautiful day!!

Love and hugs from Clare