Why am I here?

Hi Mags,

You asked why I am here this time - why did I incarnate?  I am not sure.  I do know that everyone who is here now came for the magnificent changes we are experiencing.  We are sort of midwives for the birth of a new era, at least for our species' part of it.  But there's always more.

I wonder if I am here to rediscover community. I struggle so much with wanting to be an insider, with wanting to have a group, with wanting to belong.  Yet, I feel so much like the selves your healer described -- intellectual, analytical, separated. I feel more like a watcher than a liver...if that makes any sense.

I don't know how to get in the middle of things, and maybe that's what I am supposed to learn. If so, I'm doing a rather shitty job of it, if I do say so myself. 

But, maybe not, because some of my most important leadership roles have involved being my nonconformist self, doing what I see is right, then, later, noticing others are doing the same.

But through it all, I do tend to remain aloof.  And that seems to be becoming more pronounced as I get older.  I can see a hermit inside me.

I am also terrified of being loved, which pairs so nicely with that inner need to belong.

I think I am here to say,  "Another way is possible."  whether anyone hears me or not...

Still thinking about 60, and wondering what my thing is. What do I love so much thatI want to see it, show it, next year???

I hope you are having a great  weekend.  

Sending lots of love and hugs,

Clare