And now it's Saturday!

Hey Maggie,

Hope you survived your week.  Sorry you had family dysfunction to deal with.  I know I am sensitive to it. Nephew used a tone of voice like Dad's one time - he didn't say anything wrong, he wasn't being mean, but the tone of voice swept me back to being at Dad's mercy...and it triggered all kinds of emotions. 

I always come back to wondering if we'll ever get him out of us.  It's kind of like a rape that never, ever ends.

As far as working while traveling - it's a good thing I really, really like my job. I have so much fun with it everyday.   I just worry about messing up because of the time difference, and making sure I remember when I'm scheduled.  I think I tend to get just a little anal about time, and about writing perfect reports!

Last time I did this, I accidentally scheduled myself for 2:00 am, then had to honor it. I had the time difference backwards in my mind when I opened my schedule...

We, my youngest and her babe and I, were supposed to spend the day doing volunteer work - setting up for a music festival that occurs next weekend.  But with all the rain we had this week, the grounds are underwater.  We'll work tomorrow and Monday instead.  That means I actually have a few hours to myself this morning.  What a gift!  I woke up this morning realizing I have to scrub the floors downstairs.  Then, if there's still time, I have to mow the backyard.

Hmmmmmm...maybe I'm grounding!

Ah, life!

Today is Mom's birthday.  I didn't send a card or a gift.  I still haven't sent a card to my oldest son...his birthday just passed. 

I blame it on the Grammy in me. She never sent cards on time.

I remember trying to throw a surprise birthday party for Mom, when I was 11, maybe...with just us kids. But B#2 got mad at me, probably because I was being too bossy, and told Mom.   She told me not to worry, she didn't really hear what he said.

When my kids were little, I always tried to get to her on her birthday.  Dad made that difficult.  And then, after your letter about 10 years ago, trying to engage the family in a dialog about our painful, lonely childhood was followed by Mom's request that we share our pain with her.  I did.  Dad refused to speak to me for several years. He hung up on me when I called.  I think I just completely stepped back.  I feel so distanced from them.

I  Skype occasionally.  But I never get down there.

Mom wanted to see me for my birthday, and S#3 was going to come and get me.  Crazy.  They treat her so badly, have traditionally treated her so badly, and yet she remains generous and willing to do whatever might make Mom happy...

So, today I am lost in - What a screwed up family we are!

I'll scrub floors and get rid of some of that!

Enjoy Kenny Chesney. I am not familiar with him, but I'll listen to something in your honor.  I hope you have lots of fun!

Love and hugs from Clare