perspective

Interesting thoughts.  I remembered the spider slashing my back to make room for my spirit to get in.  And now you have mentioned my wrists as the way my spirit got out.  Since slit wrists are so obviously suicidal, I thought it might symbolize the way I abandoned my body and all the pain inside. 

I can't help but return to the thought that we store abuse in our bodies, then try to escape the pain by hovering nearby.  We don't  feel the pain, but we miss the joy of being on this planet...of being physical.

I went for a two hour walk with a dear friend  yesterday.  We talked about many of the things you and I talk about here.  As we were hiking back up the hill I said - I feel my feet.  She asked if I had been unable to feel them before this (She is used to my strangeness!)  I described not feeling my body.  I don't taste my food.  I don't feel my breaths.  I don't revel in the gift of being physical.  So we both paid attention to our feet, our legs, our hips - carrying us up the hill.  I felt really young for a few minutes...

Her dog was with us, off leash, enjoying every moment.  We joked that we should have a joy club and spend time acting like the dog.


When we walked yesterday, I thought I knew where we were. But we got off on a side-trail and I wasn't sure where we were going.  We came to a house and barn I had never seen before.  It was like fairyland - a farm in my neighborhood I didn't know.  I couldn't place anything.  Then I realized I was behind my neighbor's house.  I don't see it from that angle.  I loved that moment when my brain readjusted the pieces and the Light dawned on my confusion.  I wondered how many other familiar things seems alien in our lives simply because we see them from a different angle...

Going for a walk.  Gonna keep up the momentum of yesterday's ramble. And maybe get a little Vitamin D!

You are almost there.  The finish line is in sight.  You will finish in grace.

Love to you from Clare