We are all part of a chain...more closely linked to our ancestors....but linked to everyone, everyone who lives and has ever lived...we are the sum total of all human souls...and as such we are obligated to share our love and wisdom and support. When I picture this I see that as one of us moves it effects everyone because of that connection. There are no inconsequential actions. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction...not to mention all of the ripples that are created by those reactions.
It's that disconnect that you've identified that leaves us feeling so separate and alone.
Even if we choose to be alone...it is really an impossibility, an illusion.
I have been hiding in my work...
deadlines and commitments that leave me no time to center and think...
"May is coming" I keep telling myself...but then what?
Do I know how to relax and just be with people? I haven't had that luxury in over 3 years.
I had to restrain myself from applying for an internship in NYC this summer...
it would have been an incredible opportunity to learn community organizing...
but I need to just be with my family.
I need to be with me, walking, cooking, meditating, singing...
I need to reclaim who I am and put all of this knowledge into perspective.
Then I can move forward and be effective.
I hope that your shower goes well tomorrow. I have a present, but I still haven't sent it . I texted S#3 and asked if she was going, but she never responded. I will put it in the mail on Monday.
Just keep all of the careful watching of this pregnancy in perspective. It is a temporary inconvenience. I miss being pregnant and especially miss nursing my babies. I don't even see babies anymore. Oh well, I have that to look forward to.
I love you,
My best to your family,
Maggie
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