afraid

Clare,

I do believe that S#3 wants to live in your area...
she will do well there.
I believe that she needs to allow her children to live independently.
She does not care for herself...
she cares for everyone else...
and then suffers for it.
I've seen her exhaustion and stress.
I think moving to a house that offers everyone a space is opening the door to both children and their families to move right in and allow S#3 to shoulder the responsibility once again. If her son wants to get married and start a family it should be when he and his wife/partner can live and support their own lives and their offsprings' lives. Our niece could certainly help more with chores around the house, even if her working hours and income are limited by. S#3 doesn't ask- or demand- help.
In my opinion she will end up paying for everyone to live...
something will happen and she will lose her investment.
That sounds harsh...
but it's the pattern I've observed time and time again.

I love S#3 very much.
I think that she finds value in being needed by others...
without that she is lost.
What she fails to see is that she has immense value just because...
all by herself...
she is smart and beautiful and funny and a wonderful friend.
She needs to find time by herself to recognize her own gifts.

I am afraid that the stress that she lives under is going to kill her. Just like living with the alcoholic husband and picking up all the pieces killed our grandmother. S#3 reminds me a lot of grammy...

I am afraid for her.

Late winter snow today...
It was beautiful.
I'm taking a little rest after work.
Tomorrow we are going into the city to celebrate my oldest's birthday. It will be wonderful walking the familiar streets, I enjoy that city.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie