moment of calm

Good morning...

It's so nice when the alarm doesn't go off!

The strangest thing happened yesterday. While I was working, I was taking notes, as always, and I glanced at my writing, and saw I had formed a letter like Grammy - my handwriting looked like hers in one little place.  I have been feeling a lot like a weirdo this week, sort of applying the title to me (which does not seem like an offense...I kind of like it) and seeing Grammy in myself was cool but strange. Makes me wonder where my brain is.

The down side of yesterday was that my old dog jumped up on my bed and peed.  I have been watching her and I think she is beginning to have some kidney failure and dementia. She can't seem to remember that she was out 5 minutes ago.  She is 12, and she did have a harder life before she came to me about a year and a half ago.  She doesn't seem old, but her body may be feeling it differently.

Last night I dreamed about making soup and looking for information in books.  I felt calm and engaged.

You said you are in an expiration cycle. I think you are nearing the end of that cycle. Time for a little quiet and some healing.  You'll find it...maybe at dinner tonight. I read a beautiful article once that said life's interruptions are actually divine appointments.

I never thought about cycle the way you described it.  In considering, it came to me that right now I am in that  spot, that moment of complete calm, that occurs between inspiration and expiration.  I have been cocooning, or hibernating, out here for years...It's been a long, quiet inspiration, maybe.

In reading the Zebras book, I see our lifetime of stress, and the impact on the generations.  I have begun diagnosing, and need to do some research already.  I read about Addisonian crises and could see a similarity to the low blood pressure, and even low blood sugar my kids and I experience when under stress.  There has even been some loss of consciousness when neither flightnor fright is an option...

I have never identified you as an introvert.  I definitely identifymyself as an introvert, though!

Love and hugs until tomorrow,

Clare